What is Email Anxiety?

And how to deal with it

Have you noticed an uncomfortable feeling every time you see the highlighted number over unanswered messages or emails? Have you seen yourself refreshing your inbox unnecessarily? This is a very common evil that affects many of us, even if we don't know about it. Here's a rundown of what it is, what causes it, and some life hacks to deal with email anxiety.

According to Statista, roughly 306.4 billion emails were sent and received each day in 2020. This might be far from the reality of our inbox, but it sure gives us a picture of the massive world of emails that are flying around and that could touch our inbox at any minute.

"We see emails as very quick and easy tasks, for some reason"

And for whatever reason you keep refreshing your inbox and staring at the number of unread messages, you know it won't make a difference at the end of the day. It's time to accept that multitasking between emails and action work can be tricky, and not dealing with it properly can trigger productivity-related anxiety.

We see emails as very quick and easy tasks, for some reason. So when it ends up taking longer than expected to click on the send button, anxiety appears. It might be because we hate wasting time –fair enough–, because we discovered that after the email, we're almost on deadline (and far from finished) or simply because we don't see emails as a time-consuming worthy step.

But avoiding the reality of the time involved and falling behind schedule every time simply won't make us faster nor happier. Therefore, let's try to make peace with emails and how time-consuming they can be because everyone can suffer from email anxiety moments, and they won't help our productivity, nor our mind and body.

"It won't help our productivity, nor our mind and body"

What causes email anxiety?

So, first things first. Like with any diagnosis, to find how to deal with email anxiety, we have to locate its symptoms. According to Alice Boyes, PhD., author of The Anxiety Toolkit and The Healthy Mind Toolkit, there are 3 prevailing sources for email related anxiety.

1. When someone is slow in replying to you.

Now, I'm sure we don't need to be reminded that taking it personally when we don't get the reply we need is impractical. Still, if it happens we see ourselves on that staring-at-the-screen, refreshing inbox hysteria a little too many times, then we're definitely there.

The good news, though, is that it's very common, and we can fight them with two fundamental thoughts. The main one is to keep in mind that someone's email behaviour is likely to be about them exclusively and what they have going on, and nothing to do with us.

On the other hand, let's try thinking of a time when we've felt anxious waiting on a delayed email, and after all that stress, everything turned out perfectly well and, in fact, there was even no need for us to lose our shit about it. Been there, right?

2. The volume of emails and the need to always be connected.

This is a mix between FOMO and control freak, but it happens to the best of us. It's also the most common cause, and it's entirely related to what we mentioned at first, about not acknowledging that answering emails actually takes time, whether we like it or not.

So, if the growing number of unread messages or the fear of missing that email and being "too late" to reply is starting to make us uneasy, let's cut ourselves some slack here.

If, and only in the off case that every single one contains a vital piece of information, chances are you won't need to deal with all of them during that one morning or day. So, let's make our expectations more realistic and be forgiving towards what we can get done and what needs to be done in that time, and what can wait for later.

3. When emails lack effusiveness.

Messages and emails don't come with a pat on the back attached, a voice tone or any signs of positive attitude. So, at the end of the day, it's up to the reader to "hope for the best'' when it comes to the writer's tone.

Unfortunately, when we are anxious, we'll fill in the gaps with whatever is going on in our head, which doesn't always make us feel better. Given that many contextual cues are missing from emails, and that won't change, we have to try and focus on the fact that that text is simply information written that doesn't need to be interpreted in any specific way, regardless of what we think the sender meant.

Life hacks to deal with email anxiety

Now that we've gone through some basics regarding what it is and what causes it, let's get to the practical side of things, 3 things we can do to keep it under control, when possible.

1. Use the tools

Now it's time to put our control skills into practice and start taking advantage of the tools our email provider has for us.

"...you can schedule an email to disappear and come back later"

First, try filing the emails you want to keep into relevant folders as soon as they come in. Also, you can set emails coming from a specific sender to go straight to a folder and even skip your inbox. That way, you won't have to delete it or see it, and you know where you'll find it whenever you need it later. Less unread emails; less anxiety.

Use the magic of Unsubscribing. If you really never read that newsletter or the birthday alarm email you set 15 years ago for your school friends, it might be time to let those emails go. It helps a lot to be able to find what we're looking for straight away on the first page of our inbox, and it will definitely help with stress.

On the other hand, you know those emails that you know you won't get to until hours later, if not another day, but they're pretty important, and you're afraid you'll forget them? Well, now there's a plugin called Boomerang (available for Gmail and Outlook) with which you can schedule an email to disappear and come back later—when you're ready to deal with it—leaving your inbox clearer until then.

Consider doing it all based on deadlines. What can you do today? What can be left for tomorrow? What can be actioned in a week?

"do something that involves body movement; we have to take care of it as much as our brains"

2. Take regular breaks

Writing emails can eat into a significant portion of your day, and our brains work best when we allow them to breathe every now and then. So, every hour and a half, try to take a short break. Ideally, when possible, consider going for a quick walk outside. If not, simply take a tea break or do something that involves body movement; we have to take care of it as much as our brains.

3. Switch off push notifications

Lastly, as much work and pending stuff we have, there's gonna come a time when we have to stop working and disconnect. And for your whole body's sake, you have to fully disconnect from these tasks to be able to enjoy, rest and recharge for the next day.

For it, switching off email and messaging notifications when your working hours are over (or your own set schedule says it is) will be our best ally here.

This will reduce the temptation to work longer (and less productive) hours, which won't help efficiency. And, chances are, whatever we reply after 9 hours of computer work, won't be within our ideal standards, so just leave it. It's me-time now.