The holiday season is fast approaching and it is natural for us to be falling into the stress and anxiety that comes with this time of year. Anticipating the numerous tasks and errands we have to run can start to take over our mental space and our physical time and energy. So how do we deal with all of the emotions surrounding this particular time of year? How to best navigate through the busiest time of the year while managing the many obligations and engagements?
By Clare Schubert
It’s that time of year again, the first hard rainfall has chilled the autumn air, the leaves are quickly emptying their stocks and night creeps in earlier and earlier. Christmas been strung in city centers and holiday markets will soon be in full swing. Entering into the holiday season this year seems all the more merrier waiting to return to some sense of ‘normalcy.’
Perhaps this year will be the first time we can celebrate with loved ones, without the stresses of quarantine or cancellations as had been experienced during the pandemic. While some may welcome this return back to traditional family gatherings and joyful reunions, others may be dreading the coming months as the invitations and obligations begin to accumulate. Instead, they might be longing for the quieter, quarantined days. Whatever the case may be, this holiday season is sure to be a particular one.
The holiday season has always been an interesting time for myself personally. In my childhood years, my family was constantly traveling back and forth attending relatives’ yearly gatherings, driving across the country to see grandparents, and fulfilling our familial duties, putting aside our own preferences
While I loved seeing my cousins, aunts and uncles, each weekend was packed with food, games, presents, chatting and more, leaving us all wrung out and exhausted by the end. Having to answer the same series of questions and being on my best behavior lost its novelty some years in. Into my teenage years, I began to feel the exhaustion and stress that my mother would so clearly internalize each holiday season. All the expectations, the micro-aggressions revolving around who would bring what dessert, who had nicer appetizers, sibling rivalries and squabbles all seemed childish. Year after year the same traditions, the same rules, the odd passive aggressive disputes between adults seemed dull and annoying.
As our respective families grew older, some cousins married and had kids, and others went off to college and so we started creating new traditions. My parents were never too fussy about holidays; they would prepare a nice meal, we would exchange some gifts and go for an afternoon hike or perhaps to see a film. Personally, I liked it this way. I am not much convinced by all the pomp and circumstance surrounding this time of year, which is always preceded by one or two months of constant commercials, bombardments of end-of-year sales, and other consumerist gimmicks. I wonder now if my aversion to the holidays may be linked back to the unnecessary fuss and tradition during my childhood years (something my mother obviously disliked but attempted to hide).
After moving out and starting on my travels, I began to create my own traditions.
With a dear friend, I started traveling every winter holiday, spending New Year’s Eve in a different city around the globe. On some occasions I would even stay for Christmas time– though any excitement was often eclipsed by my eagerness to leave for my overseas (likely tropical or warm) location. I am extremely grateful to have parents and siblings that have always supported my international endeavors, whether it be for educational purposes, specific personal aspirations, or just sheer gluttony and Hedonism. They have never once pressured or placed certain expectations for me to be present during the holidays, but of course welcome the occasions when I do decide to spend this time with them. Each year is different, and brings about its own challenges whether it be financial, personal or job related. Between myself and my siblings, we try to coordinate once in a while but we understand that we can also choose to do other things, or prioritize other obligations without fear of disappointing or angering our families.
Understandably not everyone may be in such a fortunate situation, but as adults with our own lives, projects and ambitions, I believe it is important to follow our own hearts before sacrificing our precious vacation time to fulfill the expectations of others. The sooner we establish boundaries and set expectations for our families and loved ones, the sooner we can make plans, and make them guilt free. Of course, it is easier said than done.
The end of the year is always filled with so many expectations and pressures– things that intrinsically do not sit well with my stubborn and sensitive disposition. Somehow we find ourselves easily convinced of certain ‘normalities’ or traditions surrounding specific days, often dictated by our past or influences around us.
But now, after halting our lives for several years, reorganizing our work days and having a lot of alone time to process and move into the coming years, we find ourselves entering a new world.
Covid-19 certainly left its imprint and we are now all entering a new phase of construction of our ideals and projects and for the future, for the life that we aspire to create. Amidst all of the noise and accumulating invitations, let this year be a new practice in concentrating our efforts on events that will bring us joy and make us feel safe, enriching our memories rather than sucking us into a vortex of stress and anxiety.
As the holiday season approaches, let us take the time to ask ourselves what we need and desire from the coming month. It's a shame that so many of us are forced by our jobs or professions to involuntarily take holidays during this time of year. On top of that, much of our time is already spoken for with various engagements and parties. In reality, we need this break for ourselves more than ever. On the contrary, time is limited and moving quickly and we can only do so much during one day.
So for this holiday season, I am challenging myself and those around me to consider this time thoughtfully. Perhaps we cannot fully skip certain obligations, but can we reduce the time or make certain compromises that will still allow us to preserve our energy? Can we strike a balance between ‘obligation’ and the inherent duty we have to honor ourselves?
About Clare
A dreamer at heart, a creative soul and lover of all things vegetal and floral. Clare is constantly exploring new mediums of creative expression whether it be drawing, ceramics, writing, dancing, cooking or simply surrounding herself with beauty and inspiration.
